


Thoughts

by afteriwake



Series: Can You Keep A Secret? [8]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, I Love You, Insomnia, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, Relationship Discussions, Secret Relationship, Wayne Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 00:56:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13019889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: Sometimes thoughts keep him up at night, and apparently, they keep her up, too.





	Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thiscanbegin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiscanbegin/gifts).



> An answer to the **au_developments** prompt " _Deep Thoughts._ "

He never usually questioned how things were going until it was quiet and he was next to her as she was trying to sleep. It only crept up in the quiet, when she was nestled against him and he was wide awake, trying to figure out how he had gotten so damn lucky.

He had found early on that one thing that made her sleep was when he stroked her hair gently. And he had no problem doing it because he was fascinated by it. The color, the soft texture of it, the way it flowed along her shoulders and bare back...it absolutely mesmerized him. So any chance he got to touch it, he took advantage of.

But that was when the thoughts crept in, when he started to worry about whether they'd get caught, whether this would last...whether he'd lose her to someone or something that was lurking in the shadows. For once, he had everything he wanted, and he was terrified he'd lose it all.

He already knew what would happen if they got caught, even if he'd never told her. He'd leave. He had enough experience in the field of arson that police departments had been trying to get him on their team for a few years now. And he was sure he could talk to someone at the Sacramento PD, get a job there. He was the one who had pushed for the relationship and if it blew up in their faces he would take the blame. She'd probably hate him for it, and therein lay the problem: he didn't want her to hate him.

There were other things he worried about, too. Like how she'd get tired of the sneaking around, and decide she wanted an open relationship with someone else, or if she'd decide she'd had enough of the CBI and transfer to somewhere else like San Fransisco or San Diego, and she didn't want him to follow. And he would if she'd ask. Some guys, mainly Cho if he knew, would say he was whipped, but it didn't matter. He loved her, plain and simple. And if she wanted to go, and wanted him with her, he'd go.

And that was the last thing he worried about. It had been obvious for a long time the depths of his feelings for her, but he didn't always know exactly where he stood with her. She had never said she loved him. And he wasn't asking for it...in fact, he'd never said the words to her. It was just kind of...there. But he wondered, and that particular train of thought usually made the others pale in comparison.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize she'd rolled onto her back until his fingers brushed warm flesh. Startled, he looked down at her. "Thought you were supposed to be asleep."

"Can't," she said simply with a very slight yawn.

"My fault?"

She shook her head slightly. "I'm just thinking too much."

"About what?" he asked.

"You first," she said.

"No, I asked you first," he said with a small grin. When he elicited one in return he relaxed more.

"Us," she said. "Not in a bad way, just thinking about what I'd like to have happen."

"And what's that?" he asked, reaching over and touching her face gently.

"I don't know," she replied. "It can't happen now anyway, not while we're working together." She shut her eyes. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does." He sat up more. "Grace, what do you want?"

She opened up her eyes, and then pulled the sheet up to her chest and sat up. "I want to stop hiding. I want to actually go out with you, on a real date, here. In this town. I don't want to have to pretend that I'm not seeing you."

He nodded. "I understand."

"Yeah, you do," she said with a small, sad smile. "At least you really do know how I feel."

"I'm sorry," he replied.

"You don't need to be. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to start dating you," she said with a sigh. "I just...I didn't expect..."

"Didn't expect what?" he asked, shifting so he was looking directly at her.

She was quiet for a moment, looking down at the sheet before looking him in the eye. "I didn't expect to fall for you so hard," she said quietly.

"So...you mean..." he asked, trying not to get too excited.

"I love you," she said simply. "Have for a little while, but I just didn't want to admit it because that gave us a whole new set of problems."

"It makes me feel a lot better knowing it, though," he said, cupping her face in his hands. "I love you too."

She smiled a real smile and then leaned in to kiss him. "Good."

He returned the kiss, staying how they were for a moment before he shifted his position again, pressing her back down onto the bed. They could worry about everything else some other time. For now, there were more important thoughts running through his head: she loved him, and at this moment, that was all that mattered.


End file.
